


The Goldfish Experiment

by Chef_Geekier



Category: The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Implied Clay/Roque - Freeform, Jensen's shenanigans, M/M, The Sims 2, alien babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 20:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chef_Geekier/pseuds/Chef_Geekier
Summary: “Dammit Cougar, stop throwing a tantrum at the chair. It can't help that its programmers were morons."Jensen's bored and has been forbidden from running mind games on the team. He finds another outlet.





	The Goldfish Experiment

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by me actually saying Jensen's opening line. Yes, I have Sims of Cougar and Jensen in Sims 3. They own a horse ranch together. Cougar's lifetime goal is to adopt a unicorn. Jensen's well on his way to becoming a mad scientist.
> 
> Technically this could fit into a longer fic I'm working on, but it works well enough as a standalone.

“Dammit Cougar, stop throwing a tantrum at the chair. It can't help that its programmers were morons.”

Everyone froze, not entirely sure of what was going on. Especially since up until that point, Cougar had in fact been dozing on the sofa and, as far as they could tell, had never thrown a tantrum of any kind in his life. (His mama would have something to say about that impression if they ever voiced it in front of her, but Cougar had no intention of ever letting any of the Losers meet anyone who had incriminating pictures from his youth. This did lead to something of a problem as his mama was determined to meet 'his young man' as she put it, but Cougar was sneaky. He figured he had a few more months before he had to bring Jensen home.) Clay had been moving from the kitchen to the living area and had frozen mid-step, bottle of beer raised to his mouth. Over at the dining table, Pooch and Roque were in the middle of a card game. Jensen, naturally, was sitting on the floor opposite the sofa, leaning against the wall and poking his laptop instead of being sensible and using the computer desk in his and Cougar's room. As everyone glanced from Cougar back to Jensen, the tech let out a nervous-sounding laugh.

“Uh, yeah, so... I said that out loud, didn't I?”

Everyone nodded.

“You're not letting me escape to my room until I explain, are you?”

A chorus of shaking heads.

Jensen sighed, then turned his laptop around for everyone to see. It was some sort of game, with people in a house that looked vaguely familiar. One figure, wearing only boxer shorts and a cowboy hat, did indeed seem to be in the middle of throwing a tantrum and pointing at a chair.

“Well, Clay said I'm not allowed to run mind experiments or test mad scientist theories on you guys any more.” Pooch shuddered. If Cougar had been a lesser man, he would have as well. “So I was poking around and found a challenge for Sims 2 that seemed kinda funny, but it could also be considered really offensive to anyone who's been diagnosed with mental illness, so I tweaked a few things and, well... now there's a Sims house with us, Jolene, Jess and Beth. Free will's on high, there's too few beds and seats and no smoke alarm, and I'm only controlling Beth. I'm calling it the Goldfish Bowl Experiment.”

After a moment's consideration, Cougar mentally shrugged. It was far less harmful than some of Jensen's other boredom-induced antics. Pooch looked interested. Roque and Clay both looked like they were debating whether the consequences of breaking Jensen's fingers were worth it.

“How's the house doing?” Pooch asked. Jensen grinned sheepishly.

“Well, ah... I forgot about some of the mods I'd put in? One lets there be more than eight people in a house and another lets them initiate romantic interactions on their own, so... SimJensen's pregnant with an alien baby, Sim-you and SimJolene are on your third baby, I think SimClay's pregnant and I don't know how that happened but he keeps throwing up randomly and he can't get hungover so it's not that, SimRoque's fascinated with the piano and is now really good at it, SimJess keeps wandering around in her underwear, and SimCougar keeps going into aspiration failure because there aren't enough unattached women for him to sleep with. He's really good with all the babies though.”

Cougar had mixed feelings about this. Yes, he was good with babies. He'd had plenty of practice. He wasn't, however, throwing tantrums at inanimate objects because he couldn't sleep with random women – he was perfectly happy with Jensen.

The rest of it all sounded completely plausible however.

“And how do you win?” Pooch seemed happy with how his Sim was getting on.

“I have to get Beth to fulfil her lifetime goal. Then this challenge is over and I need to find something else to do... I'm thinking a Bachelor-style challenge with SimClay trying to find a lady friend that won't murder us all in our sleep. I'm actually curious as to whether SimClay can manage to turn one of the SimBabes into a psycho murderer even when I have full control over their personalities.”

“$20 says yes,” Roque immediately interjected. Clay smacked him on the back of the head.

“Oh, okay then,” Jensen blinked in confusion at the screen. “So that's how he got pregnant.”

Cougar – despite his better judgement – went over to see what was on the screen. On it, the shower stall had a pixellated blur over the top and was bouncing around. A few seconds later, two Sims emerged. One was apparently Clay. The other was a large, strong, dark-skinned male. He glanced up at where Clay and Roque were now bickering, then back at Jensen who was trying to stifle his giggles.

“$10. Roque wins next challenge.”

Cougar had to grab the laptop to save it when Jensen collapsed to the side in a fit of laughter.

~*~

Roque and Cougar both won their bets.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love. And if people really want it, I could make these Sims and see what actually happens.


End file.
